November 3, 2006

Projects are Unmanageable

I read Mr Shmaltz’s book - The Blind Man and the Elephant some years ago.  It was a wonderful, short treatise on project management.  Having just found his blog, I highly recommend this article:

Why Project Managers Can’t Manage Projects

It’s a little abstract, but very insightful.  “Who are the chickens?” you might ask - well, most of you are.  You’re in control, but nobody seems to acknowledge that (often including you), and that’s why the project fails.

The 5 stages of fanboi-ism

(Compare and contrast with The 5 stages of Innovation)
Advocate

  • You say things like “We could use this innovation in our projects.”
  • You actively subscribe to a bunch of blogs and email lists about the innovation

Cheerleader

  • You start to look for jobs where you will be able to use the innovation
  • You wince every time someone talks positively about the “old way”
  • Your significant other complains because you are spending all your money on books and conferences

Troll

  • You deliberately pick fights and post provocative articles and comments
  • You actively refuse to work on projects that use the “old way”
  • You grow more and more convinced that there is an active conspiracy against the innovation. The phrase “Fat Cats” starts to creep into your rants.
  • Overlooking all of thier odious personality flaws, you develop or join a circle of like-minded companions.

Misanthrope

  • Together with your like-minded companions, you create private discussion areas, so you can avoid all the “negative vibes”
  • You begin to turn on other advocates, especially when they deviate from the “one true path” in any way. You use the label “Sellout” with gleeful abandon.
  • People stop inviting you to neighborhood parties, because you keep getting into fights.

Bitter

  • Having alienated just about everyone you know, you feel a crushing loneliness of despair and nostalgia
  • You say things like “We didn’t lose faith. The world did.” to your few remaining true-believer friends
  • You are filled with revulsion every time you hear about your favorite innovation.
  • Eventually you quit the technology game and join a commune.

The 5 stages of innovation

Denial

  • You deny that the new innovation is worthwhile.
  • You say things like ‘That will never scale’ or ‘That was done back in the 80s and no one used it’
  • Whenever anyone mentions the new innovation, you present a laundry list of reasons why it won’t work.

Anger

  • You actively unsubscribe from blogs who rave about the new innovation
  • You snort with derision and roll your eyes when you see the innovation on a resume
  • You engage in flame wars with advocates of the innovation
  • The phrase “propeller head” appears in your writing, as does the phrase “Blah, blah, blah, I am so sick of hearing about ___”

Bargaining

  • You look for ways to justify your disinterest, in the face of clear market interest in the innovation
  • You say things like ‘Yes, but without support for XYZ, it’s dead in the water.’
  • You’ll buy books that include the new innovation, but only as long as they also include something else you’re really fond of. For example:
    • Agile Development and XML - the forgotten connection
      • or
    • Monads and Method Invocations - How Haskell is just like Introspection
  • At conferences, you’ll visit the session about the new innovation, but you’ll leave early.

Sadness

  • You start to feel tired, because the world is changing around you
  • You say things like “I’m too old for this shit.”
  • You feel stupid, because the new innovation just doesn’t quite seem to make sense

Acceptance

  • Finally, you realize that everyone’s figuring out the new innovation, and it’s all a big mess.
  • You read blogs or news articles and you say things like “Wow, they don’t know what to do with it either!”
  • If you’re entrepreneurially inclined, you start to think about how you could build a startup around the innovation and retire early and rich.

For most innovations, many people will never move past anger.

(Compare and contrast with The 5 stages of fanboi-ism)